Apologies

Getting things off my chest. I don't expect anyone to understand who or what I'm talking about for several of the next paragraphs.

I'm sorry, Casey and Grant. I took your friendships for granted and am responsible for our lost communication. I didn't prioritize my life and time correctly and am now without my 2 best friends from high school.

I'm sorry Derek for being so spiteful and unintentionally jealous whenever your priorities changed in life. I still feel like I was a "third-wheel" a lot of the time, but I'm not upset about it. I wish we still talked and hung out as much as we did 2 years ago.

I'm sorry Graham, although I'm not positive, I think my severely short attention span and bad habit of impulse buying over the years may have cost you thousands of hours of work. I hope I can make it up to you somehow..



I'm sorry Amber. There's so much I want to say that I just can't put into words. I think back to how long I knew you, over 6 years, and how much time I spent talking to you for years. A lot of my happiness as a teenager stemmed from just knowing you and being your friend. Hanging out with you a couple years ago at your house was one of the most fun and, at the same time, nerve wracking things I've ever done. I'm not sure if you knew how I really felt about you, but I have a feeling you do, or did.

When you started dating Adam when I was 15, I was beyond jealous, and found myself acting irrationally and stupidly because of it. I hope I wasn't a contributing factor to why he suddenly drifted away, but if I am, I'm sorry. As the years went on, my feelings for you only got stronger. I don't know if I've ever been in love, but if I have, it was then.

When my life got flipped upside down (not a Fresh Prince reference, I swear!) and I stopped logging in for a long time, I always thought about trying to maintain contact with you, but by the time I realized how stupid I had been, it was too late. If I could go back in time and change one thing about my life, it would be that. I know we've spoken a few times in the last year, but it's nothing like how it used to be, and it deeply saddens me. I miss exchanging several pages of emails, and spending all day on MSN chatting about life.

I sincerely hope you are happy with your life now, I'm trying hard not to dwell too much on this, but I hope that by writing this, it will help me move past it. I know you'll probably never read this anyway.