Anyone who might read this, I hope you appreciate yourself for who you are. I've always been insanely self-conscious my whole life and it's all beginning to really stress me out and weigh on me more and more by the day.
I never appreciated some things that I had when I was growing up. Things that seem so trivial, like being able to buy clothing at most standard stores, or not feeling embarrassed about your hair (or lack thereof), and just generally not feeling presentable and attractive to anyone.
Ugh, such fucking self-loathing babble, I apologize, but sometimes I swear I would take a full head of hair in exchange for something else valuable to me, such as, oh I don't know, my height? My singing voice? My musical ability? My ability to walk? Bring it on.
It's such a fucking downer not being able to buy 99% of the cool t-shirts out there because they don't make them in my size, or not being able to drive my dad's car because I don't fit in it.
This is probably the most superficial, shallow, bullshit post I will ever write (and I think I wrote that before so take what you will from that,) but seriously, whoever may stumble upon this site, I hope you appreciate yourself for who you are, at least most of the time. It really sucks otherwise.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
The Day The Sky Was On Fire
This happened a while back, but I still think it came out cool on photo.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Sometimes I feel like running away..
That sounds pretty juvenile/dramatic, but really, sometimes I just really wish I could move somewhere completely different without looking back, and try to start my life over.
I want to preface that I am not completely unhappy with my life as a whole right now; I've got good friends, I have a pretty relaxed schedule, I'm not quite completely broke yet, I'm learning something new and improving at something every day. It could definitely be a lot worse.
But, I think about what I've done with myself since graduating high school and what my future looks like. I've worked a few jobs that were good experiences, I don't regret them all, but I've been in school for almost 2 years now and honestly hate it. I shouldn't be here but I haven't made the attempt to get a job and get back to the working life. I guess a part of me is having a hard time of letting go of the lack of responsibility I (mostly) had while growing up. I think I will get down to it at the start of the New Year.
Other than that, the majority of my free time has been spent playing video games, or more specifically, a single video game named WoW. I'm not going to say I completely regret playing the game for so long. I've had a lot of fun times on there with friends. But, I do wish that I had spent the last 4 years of my life on something else.
For the past few weeks I haven't been on the game for more than a few minutes, and I really don't miss it at all. I find much more joy in writing, playing guitar or drums, singing, playing beatmania/DDR, etc. I used to think I loved playing MMORPGs because of the value of 'accomplishment'. I put time into my character and get to see the rewards for that and show them off. But now, I find much more joy in being able to say "Holy shit, I can pass Vault of Heaven on hyper now, I couldn't do that a few weeks ago," then I ever did by saying "Wow look at my new piece of epic gear..."
So I don't know about all that. The expansion pack of course comes out in about a month, but I'm really not excited about it. At all. All the work I've put into the game for the past 2.5 years is going to be negated quickly by the natural progression of an MMO post-expansion. I mean, it is what it is, I guess, but I'm just ready to be done with it. I think I'm ready to be done with MMOs in general, but I haven't decided for sure. Yet.
In gaming related news, I recently started playing BF2 again and, I don't know what happened, but I am fucking amazing these days. Like seriously, I might not get the best team scores, but my accuracy with the sniper has somehow dramatically improved after not playing for months. Weird.
There's a fuckton of road construction going on in my town right now, and it pisses me off for one reason only; Whenever an intersection is under construction, the stoplights never work properly. It's seriously beyond aggravating having to sit at a red light waiting to go straight for 5 minutes, because the left turn lights are on for cars that aren't there. WOW. Fix the damn lights you assholes. I find myself having to pull a fucking National Treasure and go the most random, obscure backstreets just to get across town.
Actually been making some progress on LTTS lately, and it's been as surprising as it has gratifying that I've been getting that much done. I was scared I wouldn't be able to continue it after I realized I hadn't updated it for 3 months, but I found that coming back to it was pretty easy, and I've been happy with what I've added to it since then. Hopefully others will see it up to my "par", whatever that may be.
My brother is getting married this weekend, and I'm not going. It's a long, drama-licious story that is way too long for this post, but basically the shit is going to hit the fan when my family realizes that I'm not there. That's OK, I mean my family sucks and is full of completely insane narcissists, but still.
Beatmania IIDX 15: DJ Troopers is coming out in December! I can't wait. I've been playing it rabidly at the arcade for the past year and I can't wait to pop it in the PS2 and play through all the awesome songs in that version at home.
I guess that's all for now. It's 4:30 AM and I really need to try and fall asleep. I'm getting a weird twitch in my left eye too, I think that means it's time to close my laptop here. I really wish I wasn't such an insomniac.
I want to preface that I am not completely unhappy with my life as a whole right now; I've got good friends, I have a pretty relaxed schedule, I'm not quite completely broke yet, I'm learning something new and improving at something every day. It could definitely be a lot worse.
But, I think about what I've done with myself since graduating high school and what my future looks like. I've worked a few jobs that were good experiences, I don't regret them all, but I've been in school for almost 2 years now and honestly hate it. I shouldn't be here but I haven't made the attempt to get a job and get back to the working life. I guess a part of me is having a hard time of letting go of the lack of responsibility I (mostly) had while growing up. I think I will get down to it at the start of the New Year.
Other than that, the majority of my free time has been spent playing video games, or more specifically, a single video game named WoW. I'm not going to say I completely regret playing the game for so long. I've had a lot of fun times on there with friends. But, I do wish that I had spent the last 4 years of my life on something else.
For the past few weeks I haven't been on the game for more than a few minutes, and I really don't miss it at all. I find much more joy in writing, playing guitar or drums, singing, playing beatmania/DDR, etc. I used to think I loved playing MMORPGs because of the value of 'accomplishment'. I put time into my character and get to see the rewards for that and show them off. But now, I find much more joy in being able to say "Holy shit, I can pass Vault of Heaven on hyper now, I couldn't do that a few weeks ago," then I ever did by saying "Wow look at my new piece of epic gear..."
So I don't know about all that. The expansion pack of course comes out in about a month, but I'm really not excited about it. At all. All the work I've put into the game for the past 2.5 years is going to be negated quickly by the natural progression of an MMO post-expansion. I mean, it is what it is, I guess, but I'm just ready to be done with it. I think I'm ready to be done with MMOs in general, but I haven't decided for sure. Yet.
In gaming related news, I recently started playing BF2 again and, I don't know what happened, but I am fucking amazing these days. Like seriously, I might not get the best team scores, but my accuracy with the sniper has somehow dramatically improved after not playing for months. Weird.
There's a fuckton of road construction going on in my town right now, and it pisses me off for one reason only; Whenever an intersection is under construction, the stoplights never work properly. It's seriously beyond aggravating having to sit at a red light waiting to go straight for 5 minutes, because the left turn lights are on for cars that aren't there. WOW. Fix the damn lights you assholes. I find myself having to pull a fucking National Treasure and go the most random, obscure backstreets just to get across town.
Actually been making some progress on LTTS lately, and it's been as surprising as it has gratifying that I've been getting that much done. I was scared I wouldn't be able to continue it after I realized I hadn't updated it for 3 months, but I found that coming back to it was pretty easy, and I've been happy with what I've added to it since then. Hopefully others will see it up to my "par", whatever that may be.
My brother is getting married this weekend, and I'm not going. It's a long, drama-licious story that is way too long for this post, but basically the shit is going to hit the fan when my family realizes that I'm not there. That's OK, I mean my family sucks and is full of completely insane narcissists, but still.
Beatmania IIDX 15: DJ Troopers is coming out in December! I can't wait. I've been playing it rabidly at the arcade for the past year and I can't wait to pop it in the PS2 and play through all the awesome songs in that version at home.
I guess that's all for now. It's 4:30 AM and I really need to try and fall asleep. I'm getting a weird twitch in my left eye too, I think that means it's time to close my laptop here. I really wish I wasn't such an insomniac.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Warhammer shiii
Well, Warhammer finally came out and I picked it up. So far my first impressions are mixed, which unfortunately is not an encouraging sign for me. It's a decently well-made game with some neat concepts and the execution is, for the most part, pretty solid. I like that you can level up through PvP. I like the real feel of "war" that lives throughout the game.
However, the game barely fucking runs on my PC*. OK, I know, I have a shitty computer, but after playing WoW for so long with pretty good performance, I at least expected to be able to run WAR. Well, I can, barely. On all LOW settings, I still lag and hang around 20 FPS. The game often freezes when new enemies appear on screen, and it almost always freezes when something attacks me.
It's very frustrating and has made me not want to log in the last few days, but I did just order some new Memory so I'm hoping that helps with the problem.
If that doesn't work? Unfortunately, I can't upgrade my PC any further than that, and I'm not sure if the game has hooked me in enough to want to put up with bad performance/crashes. I feel bad because I know some people playing it, and I don't want to quit so soon, like I did with Age of Conan. In my defense, AoC was even worse in performance and ran at 10 FPS...
So at this point, I'm not sure. I had some higher expectations for the game's overall fun-factor, I was hoping it would really suck me in and hook me. I haven't been excited over a game's release since Phantasy Star Universe's release was such a big fucking piece of shit.
* = Processor:
Intel(R) Core(TM)2 Duo CPU E4500 @ 2.20GHz (2 CPUs)
Memory:
1024MB RAM
Hard Drive:
500 GB
Video Card:
NVIDIA GeForce 7900 GS
Sound Card:
SB X-Fi Audio [CF00]
Speakers/Headphones:
Sony USB Media Headset
Keyboard:
Razer Tarantula
Mouse:
Logitech G7
Operating System:
Windows XP Home Edition (5.1, Build 2600) Service Pack 2 (2600.xpsp_sp2_rtm.040803-2158)
However, the game barely fucking runs on my PC*. OK, I know, I have a shitty computer, but after playing WoW for so long with pretty good performance, I at least expected to be able to run WAR. Well, I can, barely. On all LOW settings, I still lag and hang around 20 FPS. The game often freezes when new enemies appear on screen, and it almost always freezes when something attacks me.
It's very frustrating and has made me not want to log in the last few days, but I did just order some new Memory so I'm hoping that helps with the problem.
If that doesn't work? Unfortunately, I can't upgrade my PC any further than that, and I'm not sure if the game has hooked me in enough to want to put up with bad performance/crashes. I feel bad because I know some people playing it, and I don't want to quit so soon, like I did with Age of Conan. In my defense, AoC was even worse in performance and ran at 10 FPS...
So at this point, I'm not sure. I had some higher expectations for the game's overall fun-factor, I was hoping it would really suck me in and hook me. I haven't been excited over a game's release since Phantasy Star Universe's release was such a big fucking piece of shit.
* = Processor:
Intel(R) Core(TM)2 Duo CPU E4500 @ 2.20GHz (2 CPUs)
Memory:
1024MB RAM
Hard Drive:
500 GB
Video Card:
NVIDIA GeForce 7900 GS
Sound Card:
SB X-Fi Audio [CF00]
Speakers/Headphones:
Sony USB Media Headset
Keyboard:
Razer Tarantula
Mouse:
Logitech G7
Operating System:
Windows XP Home Edition (5.1, Build 2600) Service Pack 2 (2600.xpsp_sp2_rtm.040803-2158)
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Been a while
Oh man, it's sad to say but I completely forgot about this blog until now.. I guess I've been busy with other stuff lately.
But it's just a blog, I'll get over it. I guess if I had anything really interesting to write about, I would have.
My summer went by way too quickly. My initial plan was to spend a lot of time working on writing LTTS, playing DDR, and making music. I did get to make some music and play a fair bit of DDR (as well as beatmania and Pop'n), but I'm sad to say that I haven't updated my story since the end of June..
I really wish I could just sit down and crank out chapters like I was doing there for a month. The last few times I have opened the Chapter 9 document, I write maybe one sentence and then just save and close it in frustration.
What really pisses me off is that I know how I want to end the story, but I'm not sure how to get there. I thought my last chapter was pretty good, but now I'm at a complete standstill. I know if I just make myself write, it will come back to me and I'll have some fun with it again. But, for now....
I've also all but given up on my.. spiritual beliefs. I dabbled in Christianity for a few years, but I grew tired of the ramifications that comes with associating myself with that group. There is too much judgment and hatred that exudes from the group of people that praise someone who wanted everyone to love each other.
It just doesn't make any fucking sense.
Anyways, before this becomes a big religious debate, I guess I will move on.
I often find myself going back to old habits, good or bad. I went on habbo-hotel for the first time in a year and said hi to my old friends, and it was good to see them. I used the website at a period in my life when I had virtually no real life friends, bar one who lives hours away. I'm glad to say now that I have some great friends who I enjoy spending time with, but my online friends helped me stay sane after my former best friend all but cut me out of his life.
Sometimes I reminisce back to a few years ago when I'd spend just about every waking moment with my friend, who shall remain nameless (although I'm pretty sure the only person who will likely read this blog already knows who I am talking about.) We played computer games all the time together and I've never laughed so hard in my life. But even then, in high school, my friend had a tendency to prioritize his social life differently than I would have. Basically, if he had a girlfriend I never saw him.
It annoyed and hurt me in high school, but when it started happening again after we graduated (and I was supposed to be an "adult"), I just got resentful and apathetic, to a degree, and I stopped trying to be his friend.
It's been about a year and a half since this happened, and I think we've spoken maybe 4-5 times since then. And when we do speak, it's just bullshit. It usually starts with him asking what's up, me saying nothing, him saying he wants to hang out sometime, me saying that would be nice, and then that's it. Nothing ever happens and I don't expect anything to ever happen.
Was it difficult to adjust from seeing him almost every day to rarely speaking to him? Fuckin' A. It was still hard and it still makes me get a little upset when I think about it.
But as I mentioned in a post months back, I've lost contact with almost everyone who I called a friend growing up. Most people I don't give two shits about, but this one really bothers me.
I may have finally decided, on some level, what I want to do with my life. As my friends will attest, I am a fanatic of music video games, so I think working in that field just makes too much sense to ignore. Now I just have to go about getting a job in that area. For now I'm stuck in community college, taking classes I hate and barely want to attend. I should just drop out and work, but part of me is afraid to make that leap to full time work.
True, I've been there before when I worked at Safeway. And it was fucking miserable. I mean, I would probably enjoy it a lot more if I wasn't doing such physically demanding shit work (who would have thought that pushing shopping carts with 3 layers of black clothing on in 95 degree heat wouldn't be fun!?)
But the other thing I'm worried about is losing my free time. When I worked at Safeway, my schedule was so random, it would have been impossible to make plans with anyone. My schedule was completely different every week. One week I would be working the late afternoons and have the weekends free, but the next week I might be working from mid-day to closing every other day. Good thing I didn't have any friends at that point, because they would have all gotten pissed off at my inability to have a social life, I'm sure.
Sometimes I don't really know why I play MMORPGs. Not only do I normally prefer to solo things, but I mean, in the case of WoW at least, I don't like raiding and I don't really love PVPing much either. So, why do I play? I'd like to say that it's because all my friends play, but everyone is scattered across different servers. Only 2 of my friends play on the same server as I. I could quit if I wanted to, but why don't I? More of that holding on to old habits, I guess. I know the game like the back of my hand. I've been told on more than one occasion that my near-encyclopedic knowledge of the game is sad and amazing at the time. Perhaps I'm too stubborn to learn something new?
I'm worried that I won't be able to give Warhammer a fair chance because of my predisposition. The game looks neat, and one of my best friends is going to be playing it, so there's really no reason for me to not play and enjoy it, but I'm worried the same thing will happen that happened with Phantasy Star Universe. If I have to force myself to like this game, I'm going to uninstall it before I piss anyone off.
But really, I don't know why I even play the genre. When I played Anarchy Online when I was younger, I would often sit in the towns and talk to people and give buffs/assistance in tradeskills. I found that way more fun than mindlessly killing monsters or other players. Perhaps that is why I played it for so long, and maybe that's what I should aim for. The problem is, I don't know how much of a social arc/tradeskill reliance there will be in Warhammer. It seems to be very PVP-centric. But I will give it a chance. I'm real close to just playing Anarchy Online again. I hope they bring out the new graphics engine soon, that will be a good excuse to reinstall the game..
I guess that's all for now.
But it's just a blog, I'll get over it. I guess if I had anything really interesting to write about, I would have.
My summer went by way too quickly. My initial plan was to spend a lot of time working on writing LTTS, playing DDR, and making music. I did get to make some music and play a fair bit of DDR (as well as beatmania and Pop'n), but I'm sad to say that I haven't updated my story since the end of June..
I really wish I could just sit down and crank out chapters like I was doing there for a month. The last few times I have opened the Chapter 9 document, I write maybe one sentence and then just save and close it in frustration.
What really pisses me off is that I know how I want to end the story, but I'm not sure how to get there. I thought my last chapter was pretty good, but now I'm at a complete standstill. I know if I just make myself write, it will come back to me and I'll have some fun with it again. But, for now....
I've also all but given up on my.. spiritual beliefs. I dabbled in Christianity for a few years, but I grew tired of the ramifications that comes with associating myself with that group. There is too much judgment and hatred that exudes from the group of people that praise someone who wanted everyone to love each other.
It just doesn't make any fucking sense.
Anyways, before this becomes a big religious debate, I guess I will move on.
I often find myself going back to old habits, good or bad. I went on habbo-hotel for the first time in a year and said hi to my old friends, and it was good to see them. I used the website at a period in my life when I had virtually no real life friends, bar one who lives hours away. I'm glad to say now that I have some great friends who I enjoy spending time with, but my online friends helped me stay sane after my former best friend all but cut me out of his life.
Sometimes I reminisce back to a few years ago when I'd spend just about every waking moment with my friend, who shall remain nameless (although I'm pretty sure the only person who will likely read this blog already knows who I am talking about.) We played computer games all the time together and I've never laughed so hard in my life. But even then, in high school, my friend had a tendency to prioritize his social life differently than I would have. Basically, if he had a girlfriend I never saw him.
It annoyed and hurt me in high school, but when it started happening again after we graduated (and I was supposed to be an "adult"), I just got resentful and apathetic, to a degree, and I stopped trying to be his friend.
It's been about a year and a half since this happened, and I think we've spoken maybe 4-5 times since then. And when we do speak, it's just bullshit. It usually starts with him asking what's up, me saying nothing, him saying he wants to hang out sometime, me saying that would be nice, and then that's it. Nothing ever happens and I don't expect anything to ever happen.
Was it difficult to adjust from seeing him almost every day to rarely speaking to him? Fuckin' A. It was still hard and it still makes me get a little upset when I think about it.
But as I mentioned in a post months back, I've lost contact with almost everyone who I called a friend growing up. Most people I don't give two shits about, but this one really bothers me.
I may have finally decided, on some level, what I want to do with my life. As my friends will attest, I am a fanatic of music video games, so I think working in that field just makes too much sense to ignore. Now I just have to go about getting a job in that area. For now I'm stuck in community college, taking classes I hate and barely want to attend. I should just drop out and work, but part of me is afraid to make that leap to full time work.
True, I've been there before when I worked at Safeway. And it was fucking miserable. I mean, I would probably enjoy it a lot more if I wasn't doing such physically demanding shit work (who would have thought that pushing shopping carts with 3 layers of black clothing on in 95 degree heat wouldn't be fun!?)
But the other thing I'm worried about is losing my free time. When I worked at Safeway, my schedule was so random, it would have been impossible to make plans with anyone. My schedule was completely different every week. One week I would be working the late afternoons and have the weekends free, but the next week I might be working from mid-day to closing every other day. Good thing I didn't have any friends at that point, because they would have all gotten pissed off at my inability to have a social life, I'm sure.
Sometimes I don't really know why I play MMORPGs. Not only do I normally prefer to solo things, but I mean, in the case of WoW at least, I don't like raiding and I don't really love PVPing much either. So, why do I play? I'd like to say that it's because all my friends play, but everyone is scattered across different servers. Only 2 of my friends play on the same server as I. I could quit if I wanted to, but why don't I? More of that holding on to old habits, I guess. I know the game like the back of my hand. I've been told on more than one occasion that my near-encyclopedic knowledge of the game is sad and amazing at the time. Perhaps I'm too stubborn to learn something new?
I'm worried that I won't be able to give Warhammer a fair chance because of my predisposition. The game looks neat, and one of my best friends is going to be playing it, so there's really no reason for me to not play and enjoy it, but I'm worried the same thing will happen that happened with Phantasy Star Universe. If I have to force myself to like this game, I'm going to uninstall it before I piss anyone off.
But really, I don't know why I even play the genre. When I played Anarchy Online when I was younger, I would often sit in the towns and talk to people and give buffs/assistance in tradeskills. I found that way more fun than mindlessly killing monsters or other players. Perhaps that is why I played it for so long, and maybe that's what I should aim for. The problem is, I don't know how much of a social arc/tradeskill reliance there will be in Warhammer. It seems to be very PVP-centric. But I will give it a chance. I'm real close to just playing Anarchy Online again. I hope they bring out the new graphics engine soon, that will be a good excuse to reinstall the game..
I guess that's all for now.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Music
Every once in a while there has come a band or a song that has really impacted me for one reason or another.
The first song I can ever remember truly loving was "Princes of the Universe" by Queen, back when I was like, 8 years old. I remember listening to that song on repeat while playing around with swords, pretending I was the Highlander.
My parents have always loved to play music, and as such there are some older artists that I'm more familiar with than I realize, like Dan Fogelberg, Kenny Loggins, Heart, Fleetwood Mac... My mom tried to get me into music and often offered to get me guitar lessons as a kid, but I always turned them down. I eventually ended up picking up the guitar right before my 14th birthday and 7 years later I still love playing.
I remember it was on my 12th birthday that two of my good friends started playing some rap music for me, and I kind of liked it. I had never really been into any specific genre but seeing how much my friends liked it, I tried to get into it. There were a few songs I found that were good, and some that I still enjoy to this day. Particularly "Hard Knock Life" by Jay-Z and "Nas Is Like" by Nas. But that phase only lasted a few months at most. I kept pretending I was a huge rap fanatic and would often look at Rap CDs at the store, but nothing ever seemed worth buying.
It wasn't until I was 13 that I discovered Punk Rock, and that's when my true love for music really began to grow. Blink 182, Green Day, MxPx, and NOFX were being constantly played in my walkman, and I absolutely loved it. Blink 182 may not be the most technically proficient band out there, but I have to thank them for getting me into music; I played the MTV Drumscape arcade machine at SC Boardwalk, the Blink song "What's My Age Again?" and got my first taste of drumming. Loved it. I also clearly remember listening closely to the guitar in one of their songs and thinking "Wow, that sounds really cool, I want to learn how to play that." My brother had taught me to play some basic songs on the bass already, so it was just a matter of figuring out how to make sounds on a 6-stringed instrument instead of a 4-stringed one.
Since then, with every year my music taste has evolved (and in my opinion, matured a bit with each year). When I was 14 I was still really into Punk Rock. I remember walking home from school listening to MxPx almost every day.
When I was 15 I made friends with some guys who were into heavier music, metal/hardcore stuff. My friend Robbie introduced me to a band called Hopesfall. He played the song "Waitress" for me and I thought it was pretty cool, so I ended up tracking down the album, and soon fell in love with the band. I still consider Hopesfall one of my favorite bands of all time. I also started to get into more Post-Hardcore stuff, like Thursday and Finch. A little bit of metal as well.
When I was 16 my friends started to really get me into more extreme metal. I heard Slipknot and thought it was alright, but Fear Factory was the band that really got me into metal music. Disturbed was another favorite, but it was more of a guilty pleasure with my friends because they were a little too "mainstream" for others.
When I was 17 I started to really get into melodic death metal, I had In Flames, Dark Tranquillity, Opeth, At the Gates, etc. on constant repeat.
But at 18 is when I started to diversify my tastes a little. I was listening to as much emo and rap as I did death metal. I think my favorite band at the time was The Mars Volta.
Sometime around December 2006 I started to really fall in love with a lot of death metal bands, as well as Christian bands. My interest in religion was piqued at this point and I turned to a lot of Christian bands to get some insight on that stuff. For about a year I listened to almost nothing but Underoath, As Cities Burn, Beloved, August Burns Red, Dead Poetic... At one point my playlist contained no secular bands at all.
But now I've moved on again. I very rarely listen to metal anymore. My religious beliefs are still present but are not dictating my behavior or playlist anymore. I still enjoy a lot of bands I've grown up with, but it depends what they are.
Nowadays I listen to mostly post-hardcore/emo stuff, I guess you would say. Two bands that have really made an impact on me lately are City Sleeps and Fightstar. I've posted some City Sleeps videos before, but here is a Fightstar song I love;
Love the song and love the video. I remember being a little kid and playing with finger-guns, and dammit, my sound effects were always the best because I played Goldeneye.
The first song I can ever remember truly loving was "Princes of the Universe" by Queen, back when I was like, 8 years old. I remember listening to that song on repeat while playing around with swords, pretending I was the Highlander.
My parents have always loved to play music, and as such there are some older artists that I'm more familiar with than I realize, like Dan Fogelberg, Kenny Loggins, Heart, Fleetwood Mac... My mom tried to get me into music and often offered to get me guitar lessons as a kid, but I always turned them down. I eventually ended up picking up the guitar right before my 14th birthday and 7 years later I still love playing.
I remember it was on my 12th birthday that two of my good friends started playing some rap music for me, and I kind of liked it. I had never really been into any specific genre but seeing how much my friends liked it, I tried to get into it. There were a few songs I found that were good, and some that I still enjoy to this day. Particularly "Hard Knock Life" by Jay-Z and "Nas Is Like" by Nas. But that phase only lasted a few months at most. I kept pretending I was a huge rap fanatic and would often look at Rap CDs at the store, but nothing ever seemed worth buying.
It wasn't until I was 13 that I discovered Punk Rock, and that's when my true love for music really began to grow. Blink 182, Green Day, MxPx, and NOFX were being constantly played in my walkman, and I absolutely loved it. Blink 182 may not be the most technically proficient band out there, but I have to thank them for getting me into music; I played the MTV Drumscape arcade machine at SC Boardwalk, the Blink song "What's My Age Again?" and got my first taste of drumming. Loved it. I also clearly remember listening closely to the guitar in one of their songs and thinking "Wow, that sounds really cool, I want to learn how to play that." My brother had taught me to play some basic songs on the bass already, so it was just a matter of figuring out how to make sounds on a 6-stringed instrument instead of a 4-stringed one.
Since then, with every year my music taste has evolved (and in my opinion, matured a bit with each year). When I was 14 I was still really into Punk Rock. I remember walking home from school listening to MxPx almost every day.
When I was 15 I made friends with some guys who were into heavier music, metal/hardcore stuff. My friend Robbie introduced me to a band called Hopesfall. He played the song "Waitress" for me and I thought it was pretty cool, so I ended up tracking down the album, and soon fell in love with the band. I still consider Hopesfall one of my favorite bands of all time. I also started to get into more Post-Hardcore stuff, like Thursday and Finch. A little bit of metal as well.
When I was 16 my friends started to really get me into more extreme metal. I heard Slipknot and thought it was alright, but Fear Factory was the band that really got me into metal music. Disturbed was another favorite, but it was more of a guilty pleasure with my friends because they were a little too "mainstream" for others.
When I was 17 I started to really get into melodic death metal, I had In Flames, Dark Tranquillity, Opeth, At the Gates, etc. on constant repeat.
But at 18 is when I started to diversify my tastes a little. I was listening to as much emo and rap as I did death metal. I think my favorite band at the time was The Mars Volta.
Sometime around December 2006 I started to really fall in love with a lot of death metal bands, as well as Christian bands. My interest in religion was piqued at this point and I turned to a lot of Christian bands to get some insight on that stuff. For about a year I listened to almost nothing but Underoath, As Cities Burn, Beloved, August Burns Red, Dead Poetic... At one point my playlist contained no secular bands at all.
But now I've moved on again. I very rarely listen to metal anymore. My religious beliefs are still present but are not dictating my behavior or playlist anymore. I still enjoy a lot of bands I've grown up with, but it depends what they are.
Nowadays I listen to mostly post-hardcore/emo stuff, I guess you would say. Two bands that have really made an impact on me lately are City Sleeps and Fightstar. I've posted some City Sleeps videos before, but here is a Fightstar song I love;
Love the song and love the video. I remember being a little kid and playing with finger-guns, and dammit, my sound effects were always the best because I played Goldeneye.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Sick of the bullshit
Why does one game control so much of my friends', and my own, life? Of course I'm talking about World of Warcraft, what other game would it be?
Despite my rantings on the game in my post a few weeks ago, and against my wishes, my friends continued to pester me about playing with them again, so I just gave in and logged on once again. We played for a while, and then one of my friends gets bored, so we switch servers and have to start over again. This happened no less than 4 times in 2 weeks, and it was getting more frustrating each time. By the 4th time, I just said screw it and went to play on my own, away from my friends on one of my old characters. The guilt of abandoning them was persistent and never-ceasing.
But then today, they all just up and quit out of seemingly nowhere.
So I should be happy I guess, I can finally maybe quit this game for good. But will I? I've finally made peace with a class that I hated for a long time and am actually having a decent time playing, despite being on a server by myself with no friends. It's sad, but was that the key this whole time? Although, it makes some sense. I've always been a loner, and until less than a year ago, I always chose to stay at home alone rather then going out with friends.
I don't know, it's a little depressing to think that playing by myself in solitude is when I am most happiest. There's only one person I'd really want to play with, but I've had him jump through so many hoops lately, I'm not even sure if he still wants to.
What really pisses me off the most is how much this all affects me. I've been in a pretty crappy mood recently because of my friends' indecisiveness on the game and how serious they take it, and today I just kind of lost it (internally, I didn't explode on anyone.)
So now in such a sport span of time, my friends' attitudes have changed from "Hey let's play some WoW" to "Dude, you should quit WoW, it's a waste of time." It's annoying beyond belief thinking about how much I am going to have to put up with that from now on. It was like that before, when I was the only person playing the game, but then everybody else picked it up and got addicted to it like I once was. That rabid fever you get for the game when it's all new to you.
That passion is long gone for me, and I think I might be playing more because of comfort and familiarity rather than truly enjoying every single second of it.
On top of all this, I have a bad case of writer's block. I'm pretty sure it can attributed to a mix of playing WoW and also just genuinely not knowing what to write next. I hope I can start coming up with things soon...
On the brighter side, I got an email from an old friend today and it's kind of nice to hear from him again. We didn't exactly end things in the best way, so I'm a little hesitant to get fully excited about talking to him, but it's nice either way.
I turned 21 on the 6th, and haven't done a single thing to celebrate/take advantage of my age yet. Although after today, I could sure use a fucking drink.
Anyway, here's another cool song:
Despite my rantings on the game in my post a few weeks ago, and against my wishes, my friends continued to pester me about playing with them again, so I just gave in and logged on once again. We played for a while, and then one of my friends gets bored, so we switch servers and have to start over again. This happened no less than 4 times in 2 weeks, and it was getting more frustrating each time. By the 4th time, I just said screw it and went to play on my own, away from my friends on one of my old characters. The guilt of abandoning them was persistent and never-ceasing.
But then today, they all just up and quit out of seemingly nowhere.
So I should be happy I guess, I can finally maybe quit this game for good. But will I? I've finally made peace with a class that I hated for a long time and am actually having a decent time playing, despite being on a server by myself with no friends. It's sad, but was that the key this whole time? Although, it makes some sense. I've always been a loner, and until less than a year ago, I always chose to stay at home alone rather then going out with friends.
I don't know, it's a little depressing to think that playing by myself in solitude is when I am most happiest. There's only one person I'd really want to play with, but I've had him jump through so many hoops lately, I'm not even sure if he still wants to.
What really pisses me off the most is how much this all affects me. I've been in a pretty crappy mood recently because of my friends' indecisiveness on the game and how serious they take it, and today I just kind of lost it (internally, I didn't explode on anyone.)
So now in such a sport span of time, my friends' attitudes have changed from "Hey let's play some WoW" to "Dude, you should quit WoW, it's a waste of time." It's annoying beyond belief thinking about how much I am going to have to put up with that from now on. It was like that before, when I was the only person playing the game, but then everybody else picked it up and got addicted to it like I once was. That rabid fever you get for the game when it's all new to you.
That passion is long gone for me, and I think I might be playing more because of comfort and familiarity rather than truly enjoying every single second of it.
On top of all this, I have a bad case of writer's block. I'm pretty sure it can attributed to a mix of playing WoW and also just genuinely not knowing what to write next. I hope I can start coming up with things soon...
On the brighter side, I got an email from an old friend today and it's kind of nice to hear from him again. We didn't exactly end things in the best way, so I'm a little hesitant to get fully excited about talking to him, but it's nice either way.
I turned 21 on the 6th, and haven't done a single thing to celebrate/take advantage of my age yet. Although after today, I could sure use a fucking drink.
Anyway, here's another cool song:
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Great song
Same band as I posted about before, City Sleeps. This song has been on almost constant repeat the last 2 days.
Friday, June 27, 2008
More Conan plus other stuff
Well I did end up getting Conan to run, but the catch is that it HAS to be on the highest graphics settings or nothing shows up, and that makes it lag pretty fiercely, which turns me off of any game. The game itself is pretty fun, I must admit, but I don't think I will keep playing it at this point, because the constant lag. The game definitely has some cool ideas and pulls them off, for the most part, pretty well.
I'm not sure if another MMO is the game I am looking for right now anyway. I started playing Wakfu, which is the "sequel" to Dofus, and it's not bad. It's still in an early stage but it is pretty fun. I can't go into much detail due to the NDA, however, so I'll move on.
I found a new band that's been getting a lot of playtime in my room, "City Sleeps." The song 'Prototype' is killer.
Been procrastinating getting started on my next chapter, hmm, and I have a pretty good idea of what I'm going to write already, so that's always nice. I just need to find time to actually do it.
Well I guess that's it for now.
I'm not sure if another MMO is the game I am looking for right now anyway. I started playing Wakfu, which is the "sequel" to Dofus, and it's not bad. It's still in an early stage but it is pretty fun. I can't go into much detail due to the NDA, however, so I'll move on.
I found a new band that's been getting a lot of playtime in my room, "City Sleeps." The song 'Prototype' is killer.
Been procrastinating getting started on my next chapter, hmm, and I have a pretty good idea of what I'm going to write already, so that's always nice. I just need to find time to actually do it.
Well I guess that's it for now.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Age of Conan
I wish I could say more about this game but apparently my computer doesn't get along with it, and instead of controlling a savage conqueror, all I can control is a floating disembodied beard.
Also, the ground textures don't load and all I see is sky and water.
Great way to waste $50..
Also, the ground textures don't load and all I see is sky and water.
Great way to waste $50..
Thursday, June 19, 2008
World of Warcraft...
Since March 2004 when I was invited to the Closed Beta, my relationship with Blizzard's monstrous MMORPG has been, to say the least, rocky. I haven't played every single day since it came out, but the majority of my time has been put into the game for the last several years. But why? In truth, I really fucking hate this game. I really do. It's too much of a timesink, it's a bunch of rep-grinding, repetitive bullshit, and it's not nearly as revolutionary as people like to say it is (at least in certain aspects.) It's really POLISHED, but I wouldn't say anything about it is necessarily amazing or revolutionary.
I will try to break down the game as best as I can, because this has been building up for years.
When you start playing WoW, from the moment you make your first character and you see the little cutscene that flies through the starting area of whichever race you picked, and you hear that disembodied voice explaining the backstory of you, your character, you know this game is going to be something else. Everything is streamlined so well in this game, the quests give you great EXP, and there is very rarely a shortage on quests. Look at almost every korean/free MMO out there, it is mostly grinding. You just sit in a field and kill monsters over and over with no real purpose or objective, other than filling your EXP bar a little bit more with each kill. True, the quests in WoW are mostly stupid, eg. Go collect 10 apples, or go slay 7 bats, etc. But the fact they are there is something.
The game remains consistently fun and enthralling while you level up. The only real frustrations you are likely to find are the lack of groups for low level instances, and if you play on a PVP server, getting ganked by a level 70 with too much time on his hands. But it doesn't matter, this game still kicks ass, and you want to hit 70 so you can get revenge on those who have caused you trouble.
So finally that day arrives, probably a few months after you started, that you hit level 70. DING! The brilliant yellow glow surrounds your character and your eyes instantly zoom down to the chat box to see it says "Congratulations on reaching Level 70!" You cheer and your guildmates congratulate you as you hearthstone back to the city to get your shiny new skills.
Alright so I'm level 70 now, I can't wait to see what the end game is like. And then it hits you, the end game is BULLSHIT. Here's your options: Raid, PVP, Reroll. That's all you can do. This has been a problem since the game came out, and it baffles me that it hasn't been addressed yet. Don't be fooled, when the new expansion pack comes out, it's going to be exactly the same at Level 80 as it is now.
So lets say you decide to raid, so you're going to have to spend a bunch of time in Heroic instances getting blues and a few epics so you can start going into Karazhan, and then into Zul'aman, Gruul's Lair, Magtheridon, etc. It's a big treadmill that you have to run on with 9-24 other people several times a week. If you have the free time, patience, and desire to progress, raiding is probably what you really enjoy, but I personally don't like having to sit on Vent with a bunch of people who take WoW way too seriously, and start cursing at you if you make a mistake, and start screaming when they actually kill a boss and get a new piece of equipment.
On the other hand, here's PVP. Well, lets clear this up, there are 2 different kinds of PVP in WoW. There is the Battlegrounds, which is where more "casual" players tend to hang out, and I'll talk about those soon.
But then there are the Arenas. The arena system is the biggest bullshit that has been put into WoW yet. Everyone gets fucked over by it. First off, Blizzard is apparently really desperate to make WoW become a new fixture in "eSports", which if you don't know, is where people play competitive games for money. The majority of their focus and the game's changes/rebalances in the last year have been because of the arena, and it pisses me off because I fucking hate the arena as do most people I know.
There are 2 big reasons why it sucks. First, most people only use it to get easy epics, or "welfare epics" as people like to call them. All you have to do is play 10 games a week, and you get points toward your gear. You don't even have to win any of the games. True, Blizzard is fixing this with Season 4 by putting a "rating requirement" on everything, so you have to actually do well to wear the best gear, but why was this ever thought of as a good idea? Why even bother trying to do Kara if I can spend an hour losing in a 5v5 arena team and get a better DPS weapon? I know that PVE gear is better for PVE, but weapons are, for some classes, pretty negligible. How many times do you see a PVE freak using a S3 weapon, and vice versa for a T5 weapon?
The other problem I have is that everyone who actually plays takes it way too seriously. There are countless douchebags out there who won't even speak to you unless your rating is higher than 2000. Even if you aren't talking about anything PVP related. The elitist attitude that was already alive with a good number of WoW players was ignited, like throwing gas on a fire, when the arena debuted.
So now you're probably wondering what I would do if I could change something about the Arenas. My answer is simple: Separate it from the rest of WoW. Why does everyone have to be affected by a class nerf because their class happens to be doing well in the arena? I know Paladins feel me on this one. Remember when you got full mana back from critting? Warriors, remember when Mace Stun actually procced more than once every 15 swings? You get the idea. Separate the Arena from WoW and balance it separately.
On the other side of PVP you get the battlegrounds. There really isn't much to say here, it's pretty much the same as it was years back, the only difference is now there is resilience.
All in all, PVE and PVP have one thing in common: IT'S A GRIND. The whole game becomes one big fucking grind once you hit level 70. You would like to think "Well as soon as I am done having to do stupid quests and killing random animals, I get to actually have some real epic battles!" But no, all you do is either grind honor, grind mats for consumables, or grind money for your epic mount, which helps you get to raids/the arena master quicker. Or of course, there was option 3, you can reroll and experience leveling up again.
I'm bitching a lot about the game, but on the other hand, I've been playing it for years, so what's the deal?
It's really easy to get addicted to it. That's all there is to it. Everything you do in the game comes with a proverbial carrot on a stick in front of you, and you're constantly saying "I just need this one last upgrade" or "Just this one last quest", but it never ends (like all MMOs), and you just end up doing the same thing over and over, with some goal in the distance.
The other thing is, at least in my case, everyone I know fucking plays this game. Which makes it really hard to stop, because even if I say "Hmm, I don't really want to play WoW today" Here comes people IMing me, "hey dude lets do an instance" or "Hey can you help me with this?" so I have to log on because apparently not wanting to play WoW is just crazy talk.
I guess it depends on your experience with the game. I've been playing since the beta, and I'm ready to move on. I really wish there was another game as polished and easy to get into as WoW, I really fucking do. A while back I was banned from WoW and had uninstalled it, and was ready to move on, but this was at the same time that literally everyone I know in real life was starting to play again (they had all quit initially, and a few were starting for the first time,) so I gave in to the pressure and bought another copy. Now I really wish I had stayed away.
I'm now back to being level 70, in decent gear, but I don't want to do anything on the game. I log in, and PVP doesn't sound interesting at all. I don't want to group with a bunch of random idiots or even with my guild. So I just log off. That's been my time on WoW the last few days, and it's not looking to change.
May addon or edit later. Just in a bad mood right now.. Sorry for the language.
I will try to break down the game as best as I can, because this has been building up for years.
When you start playing WoW, from the moment you make your first character and you see the little cutscene that flies through the starting area of whichever race you picked, and you hear that disembodied voice explaining the backstory of you, your character, you know this game is going to be something else. Everything is streamlined so well in this game, the quests give you great EXP, and there is very rarely a shortage on quests. Look at almost every korean/free MMO out there, it is mostly grinding. You just sit in a field and kill monsters over and over with no real purpose or objective, other than filling your EXP bar a little bit more with each kill. True, the quests in WoW are mostly stupid, eg. Go collect 10 apples, or go slay 7 bats, etc. But the fact they are there is something.
The game remains consistently fun and enthralling while you level up. The only real frustrations you are likely to find are the lack of groups for low level instances, and if you play on a PVP server, getting ganked by a level 70 with too much time on his hands. But it doesn't matter, this game still kicks ass, and you want to hit 70 so you can get revenge on those who have caused you trouble.
So finally that day arrives, probably a few months after you started, that you hit level 70. DING! The brilliant yellow glow surrounds your character and your eyes instantly zoom down to the chat box to see it says "Congratulations on reaching Level 70!" You cheer and your guildmates congratulate you as you hearthstone back to the city to get your shiny new skills.
Alright so I'm level 70 now, I can't wait to see what the end game is like. And then it hits you, the end game is BULLSHIT. Here's your options: Raid, PVP, Reroll. That's all you can do. This has been a problem since the game came out, and it baffles me that it hasn't been addressed yet. Don't be fooled, when the new expansion pack comes out, it's going to be exactly the same at Level 80 as it is now.
So lets say you decide to raid, so you're going to have to spend a bunch of time in Heroic instances getting blues and a few epics so you can start going into Karazhan, and then into Zul'aman, Gruul's Lair, Magtheridon, etc. It's a big treadmill that you have to run on with 9-24 other people several times a week. If you have the free time, patience, and desire to progress, raiding is probably what you really enjoy, but I personally don't like having to sit on Vent with a bunch of people who take WoW way too seriously, and start cursing at you if you make a mistake, and start screaming when they actually kill a boss and get a new piece of equipment.
On the other hand, here's PVP. Well, lets clear this up, there are 2 different kinds of PVP in WoW. There is the Battlegrounds, which is where more "casual" players tend to hang out, and I'll talk about those soon.
But then there are the Arenas. The arena system is the biggest bullshit that has been put into WoW yet. Everyone gets fucked over by it. First off, Blizzard is apparently really desperate to make WoW become a new fixture in "eSports", which if you don't know, is where people play competitive games for money. The majority of their focus and the game's changes/rebalances in the last year have been because of the arena, and it pisses me off because I fucking hate the arena as do most people I know.
There are 2 big reasons why it sucks. First, most people only use it to get easy epics, or "welfare epics" as people like to call them. All you have to do is play 10 games a week, and you get points toward your gear. You don't even have to win any of the games. True, Blizzard is fixing this with Season 4 by putting a "rating requirement" on everything, so you have to actually do well to wear the best gear, but why was this ever thought of as a good idea? Why even bother trying to do Kara if I can spend an hour losing in a 5v5 arena team and get a better DPS weapon? I know that PVE gear is better for PVE, but weapons are, for some classes, pretty negligible. How many times do you see a PVE freak using a S3 weapon, and vice versa for a T5 weapon?
The other problem I have is that everyone who actually plays takes it way too seriously. There are countless douchebags out there who won't even speak to you unless your rating is higher than 2000. Even if you aren't talking about anything PVP related. The elitist attitude that was already alive with a good number of WoW players was ignited, like throwing gas on a fire, when the arena debuted.
So now you're probably wondering what I would do if I could change something about the Arenas. My answer is simple: Separate it from the rest of WoW. Why does everyone have to be affected by a class nerf because their class happens to be doing well in the arena? I know Paladins feel me on this one. Remember when you got full mana back from critting? Warriors, remember when Mace Stun actually procced more than once every 15 swings? You get the idea. Separate the Arena from WoW and balance it separately.
On the other side of PVP you get the battlegrounds. There really isn't much to say here, it's pretty much the same as it was years back, the only difference is now there is resilience.
All in all, PVE and PVP have one thing in common: IT'S A GRIND. The whole game becomes one big fucking grind once you hit level 70. You would like to think "Well as soon as I am done having to do stupid quests and killing random animals, I get to actually have some real epic battles!" But no, all you do is either grind honor, grind mats for consumables, or grind money for your epic mount, which helps you get to raids/the arena master quicker. Or of course, there was option 3, you can reroll and experience leveling up again.
I'm bitching a lot about the game, but on the other hand, I've been playing it for years, so what's the deal?
It's really easy to get addicted to it. That's all there is to it. Everything you do in the game comes with a proverbial carrot on a stick in front of you, and you're constantly saying "I just need this one last upgrade" or "Just this one last quest", but it never ends (like all MMOs), and you just end up doing the same thing over and over, with some goal in the distance.
The other thing is, at least in my case, everyone I know fucking plays this game. Which makes it really hard to stop, because even if I say "Hmm, I don't really want to play WoW today" Here comes people IMing me, "hey dude lets do an instance" or "Hey can you help me with this?" so I have to log on because apparently not wanting to play WoW is just crazy talk.
I guess it depends on your experience with the game. I've been playing since the beta, and I'm ready to move on. I really wish there was another game as polished and easy to get into as WoW, I really fucking do. A while back I was banned from WoW and had uninstalled it, and was ready to move on, but this was at the same time that literally everyone I know in real life was starting to play again (they had all quit initially, and a few were starting for the first time,) so I gave in to the pressure and bought another copy. Now I really wish I had stayed away.
I'm now back to being level 70, in decent gear, but I don't want to do anything on the game. I log in, and PVP doesn't sound interesting at all. I don't want to group with a bunch of random idiots or even with my guild. So I just log off. That's been my time on WoW the last few days, and it's not looking to change.
May addon or edit later. Just in a bad mood right now.. Sorry for the language.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
First Person Shooters
After several frustrating nights on Team Fortress 2 recently, I've come to the conclusion that my skills on FPS games have either severely deteriorated to the point of complete noobness, or that game is just really difficult. I still do decent at BF2 when I play, and I can still get some headshots on Counter-Strike Source, so what's the deal?
I know that playing WoW isn't exactly a good way to keep up your skills with reaction time and accuracy, but wow, I have never done so bad at a game.
Well, at least it was only $20, so I don't feel so bad uninstalling it. I don't really get the hype behind the game, everyone says it's so amazing and the best multiplayer game of the year, etc. Whatever. Back to games that take no skill, I guess.
I am even worse at RTS btw.
I know that playing WoW isn't exactly a good way to keep up your skills with reaction time and accuracy, but wow, I have never done so bad at a game.
Well, at least it was only $20, so I don't feel so bad uninstalling it. I don't really get the hype behind the game, everyone says it's so amazing and the best multiplayer game of the year, etc. Whatever. Back to games that take no skill, I guess.
I am even worse at RTS btw.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Surprising absolutely nobody: Weezer's new album isn't good
A while back on a forum I saw someone trying to figure out if Weezer was a good band who just had some bad albums lately, or if they are a bad band who had 2 good (really good) fluke albums.
I'm pretty sure option B is the answer now, after hearing the new "Red Album". Every song is just standard pop rock, there's nothing really unique about it at all. The only song I like is "Pork & Beans", which I thought had a cool almost-Blue Album sound to it, but I said to myself, "There must be better on the album". NOPE.
So I have removed the Red Album from my computer after 2 listens, and it will forever remain in my musical graveyard along with the Green Album, Maladroit, and Make Believe.
Listen to Pinkerton and long for the days of when Weezer made good music... Sigh.
I'm pretty sure option B is the answer now, after hearing the new "Red Album". Every song is just standard pop rock, there's nothing really unique about it at all. The only song I like is "Pork & Beans", which I thought had a cool almost-Blue Album sound to it, but I said to myself, "There must be better on the album". NOPE.
So I have removed the Red Album from my computer after 2 listens, and it will forever remain in my musical graveyard along with the Green Album, Maladroit, and Make Believe.
Listen to Pinkerton and long for the days of when Weezer made good music... Sigh.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Note to self: No more coke past 10 PM
Well, it's 5:26 AM as I begin to write this, so if you guessed that I couldn't sleep again, you are correct!
It's not all bad though, I actually love being up at this time, when the sky is just beginning to shift to a dark blue, and the sunlight is starting to bleed through. It's a shame I don't get to see the early morning anymore. That's one of the very few things I miss about my high school days, getting up that early. But I hate going to bed early, so whatever.
It's not all bad though, I actually love being up at this time, when the sky is just beginning to shift to a dark blue, and the sunlight is starting to bleed through. It's a shame I don't get to see the early morning anymore. That's one of the very few things I miss about my high school days, getting up that early. But I hate going to bed early, so whatever.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Insomnia, school, and writer's block...or is it?,
It's currently 3:31 AM on Saturday night...err, Sunday Morning. I'm at that point where I feel like I should go to bed, but part of me is just saying "screw it, stay up the rest of the night." I'm kind of tired, but also know that I could easily keep myself awake if I wanted to. I guess drinking caffeine will do that to ya.
Insomnia is surely nothing new to me. As my friends will attest, 5 hours of sleep is my average amount of sleep per night. Every once in a while I will get 7 or so, but that's not normal. I sometimes wonder what causes it. I think my brain just thinks/knows that sleeping is a waste of time, there's so many things I could be doing while I'm laying in bed trying to fall asleep!
It's not all bad though, I'm often at my most creative post 3:30-AM, when that weird trippy feeling starts settling in. I've come up with some of what I think are my favorite ideas at this time of night. Sleep deprivation be darned, I'm not changing my schedule until school starts.
Speaking of school, I picked my classes out... finally. Looks like I will be taking Drawing 1, Computer Illustration, California History, and get this, Bible Literature. Didn't even know they offered that at my school. I know it's not very "bay area" to be religious and whatnot, but I'm actually excited for that class in particular. Of course the Computer Illustration class interests me greatly as well. As my friends are already aware, I love manipulating photos.
And ugh, I'm not sure if I have writer's block or just a general lack of motivation, but I can't seem to finish up Chapter 4. I got about halfway through but I don't really love what I've come up with so far. I really need to get past this chapter so I can get to a point in the story where I actually have a lot of ideas for. I'm just having trouble getting there. Blah.
Stupid Warcraft holding my attention oh so well. There's something about consistently playing with a good friend and not having a bunch of money that makes the game seem so fresh. For those familiar with the game, I 'dinged' 24. Woohoo? At least I get Windfury in 6 levels..
Insomnia is surely nothing new to me. As my friends will attest, 5 hours of sleep is my average amount of sleep per night. Every once in a while I will get 7 or so, but that's not normal. I sometimes wonder what causes it. I think my brain just thinks/knows that sleeping is a waste of time, there's so many things I could be doing while I'm laying in bed trying to fall asleep!
It's not all bad though, I'm often at my most creative post 3:30-AM, when that weird trippy feeling starts settling in. I've come up with some of what I think are my favorite ideas at this time of night. Sleep deprivation be darned, I'm not changing my schedule until school starts.
Speaking of school, I picked my classes out... finally. Looks like I will be taking Drawing 1, Computer Illustration, California History, and get this, Bible Literature. Didn't even know they offered that at my school. I know it's not very "bay area" to be religious and whatnot, but I'm actually excited for that class in particular. Of course the Computer Illustration class interests me greatly as well. As my friends are already aware, I love manipulating photos.
And ugh, I'm not sure if I have writer's block or just a general lack of motivation, but I can't seem to finish up Chapter 4. I got about halfway through but I don't really love what I've come up with so far. I really need to get past this chapter so I can get to a point in the story where I actually have a lot of ideas for. I'm just having trouble getting there. Blah.
Stupid Warcraft holding my attention oh so well. There's something about consistently playing with a good friend and not having a bunch of money that makes the game seem so fresh. For those familiar with the game, I 'dinged' 24. Woohoo? At least I get Windfury in 6 levels..
Sunday, May 25, 2008
What's new... Not much, shockingly.
Well the semester is done for summer, and it's kind of nice being able to relax finally. With that out of the way, I have some time to finally focus on continuing my writing and making plans for travel.
I'm still hoping I can visit some of my friends around the country this summer. Going to Orlando, FL seems the most likely to happen right now, but I'm hoping I can also get to North Carolina and Canada to see some other friends.
Continuing frustration/impatience with myself regarding my creative writing. I have so many ideas for the overall arc of the story and some certain elements that will come up later on, but I'm having trouble coming up with ways to get to those points in the story.
I'm hoping I will have a creative spark hit me soon enough, I can't wait to get all these ideas down on paper.
Oh well, back to the quite uninspiring world of Warcraft.
I'm still hoping I can visit some of my friends around the country this summer. Going to Orlando, FL seems the most likely to happen right now, but I'm hoping I can also get to North Carolina and Canada to see some other friends.
Continuing frustration/impatience with myself regarding my creative writing. I have so many ideas for the overall arc of the story and some certain elements that will come up later on, but I'm having trouble coming up with ways to get to those points in the story.
I'm hoping I will have a creative spark hit me soon enough, I can't wait to get all these ideas down on paper.
Oh well, back to the quite uninspiring world of Warcraft.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Computers + Outside = ???
Went to a friend's birthday party/lan party today and we had the computers outside, and my freakin keyboard got that morning mist on it and it's all sticky now. Lame.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Apologies
Getting things off my chest. I don't expect anyone to understand who or what I'm talking about for several of the next paragraphs.
I'm sorry, Casey and Grant. I took your friendships for granted and am responsible for our lost communication. I didn't prioritize my life and time correctly and am now without my 2 best friends from high school.
I'm sorry Derek for being so spiteful and unintentionally jealous whenever your priorities changed in life. I still feel like I was a "third-wheel" a lot of the time, but I'm not upset about it. I wish we still talked and hung out as much as we did 2 years ago.
I'm sorry Graham, although I'm not positive, I think my severely short attention span and bad habit of impulse buying over the years may have cost you thousands of hours of work. I hope I can make it up to you somehow..
I'm sorry Amber. There's so much I want to say that I just can't put into words. I think back to how long I knew you, over 6 years, and how much time I spent talking to you for years. A lot of my happiness as a teenager stemmed from just knowing you and being your friend. Hanging out with you a couple years ago at your house was one of the most fun and, at the same time, nerve wracking things I've ever done. I'm not sure if you knew how I really felt about you, but I have a feeling you do, or did.
When you started dating Adam when I was 15, I was beyond jealous, and found myself acting irrationally and stupidly because of it. I hope I wasn't a contributing factor to why he suddenly drifted away, but if I am, I'm sorry. As the years went on, my feelings for you only got stronger. I don't know if I've ever been in love, but if I have, it was then.
When my life got flipped upside down (not a Fresh Prince reference, I swear!) and I stopped logging in for a long time, I always thought about trying to maintain contact with you, but by the time I realized how stupid I had been, it was too late. If I could go back in time and change one thing about my life, it would be that. I know we've spoken a few times in the last year, but it's nothing like how it used to be, and it deeply saddens me. I miss exchanging several pages of emails, and spending all day on MSN chatting about life.
I sincerely hope you are happy with your life now, I'm trying hard not to dwell too much on this, but I hope that by writing this, it will help me move past it. I know you'll probably never read this anyway.
I'm sorry, Casey and Grant. I took your friendships for granted and am responsible for our lost communication. I didn't prioritize my life and time correctly and am now without my 2 best friends from high school.
I'm sorry Derek for being so spiteful and unintentionally jealous whenever your priorities changed in life. I still feel like I was a "third-wheel" a lot of the time, but I'm not upset about it. I wish we still talked and hung out as much as we did 2 years ago.
I'm sorry Graham, although I'm not positive, I think my severely short attention span and bad habit of impulse buying over the years may have cost you thousands of hours of work. I hope I can make it up to you somehow..
I'm sorry Amber. There's so much I want to say that I just can't put into words. I think back to how long I knew you, over 6 years, and how much time I spent talking to you for years. A lot of my happiness as a teenager stemmed from just knowing you and being your friend. Hanging out with you a couple years ago at your house was one of the most fun and, at the same time, nerve wracking things I've ever done. I'm not sure if you knew how I really felt about you, but I have a feeling you do, or did.
When you started dating Adam when I was 15, I was beyond jealous, and found myself acting irrationally and stupidly because of it. I hope I wasn't a contributing factor to why he suddenly drifted away, but if I am, I'm sorry. As the years went on, my feelings for you only got stronger. I don't know if I've ever been in love, but if I have, it was then.
When my life got flipped upside down (not a Fresh Prince reference, I swear!) and I stopped logging in for a long time, I always thought about trying to maintain contact with you, but by the time I realized how stupid I had been, it was too late. If I could go back in time and change one thing about my life, it would be that. I know we've spoken a few times in the last year, but it's nothing like how it used to be, and it deeply saddens me. I miss exchanging several pages of emails, and spending all day on MSN chatting about life.
I sincerely hope you are happy with your life now, I'm trying hard not to dwell too much on this, but I hope that by writing this, it will help me move past it. I know you'll probably never read this anyway.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Foot update
Well, I was able to get a really quick appointment this morning at 10:45 with the doctor, so that was cool. I found out what I had already suspected; an infection caused by athlete's foot is what has been giving me pain. I got some cream and an antibiotic to take, which means I get to spend a good amount of time in the bathroom. Yay?
I can't wait to get better. I haven't played DDR in 5 days, and I haven't played the drums in even longer. The calluses on my hand, which I've had for years now, were getting painful for some reason, so I decided to lay off the drums for a while. I have been having fun playing around with the bass again though.
Not much else to say really. Been playing Shattered Galaxy again, which is a game I was addicted to when I was like, 15. It's actually really fun to play again, even though the game hasn't changed much (or at all) in years. So I guess I'll go back to doing that, and enjoying this macaroni & cheese I made for myself right before I typed this up.
Peace.
I can't wait to get better. I haven't played DDR in 5 days, and I haven't played the drums in even longer. The calluses on my hand, which I've had for years now, were getting painful for some reason, so I decided to lay off the drums for a while. I have been having fun playing around with the bass again though.
Not much else to say really. Been playing Shattered Galaxy again, which is a game I was addicted to when I was like, 15. It's actually really fun to play again, even though the game hasn't changed much (or at all) in years. So I guess I'll go back to doing that, and enjoying this macaroni & cheese I made for myself right before I typed this up.
Peace.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Music game awesomeness
This is awesome.
A mix of the 5 most popular Bemani games playing the song "The Least 100sec". I want to try this on DDR next time I can play, I'm not sure if it's on Supernova/SN2 though. I don't think I could do it on the other games. Maybe on easy mode on the drums/guitar.. I stink at Pop'n Music and have never played Keyboardmania (it looks insane)
A mix of the 5 most popular Bemani games playing the song "The Least 100sec". I want to try this on DDR next time I can play, I'm not sure if it's on Supernova/SN2 though. I don't think I could do it on the other games. Maybe on easy mode on the drums/guitar.. I stink at Pop'n Music and have never played Keyboardmania (it looks insane)
Banned, Blocks, Fevers and Foot Injuries
I was banned from WoW. Not really much else to say about that, I'm actually not that upset about it, but I am trying to get unbanned currently. I hope it works, but if not, life goes on.
Something is wrong with my foot. I got hurt somehow, and can now barely walk. I'm not exactly sure what happened to it, but my best guesses are either a bee sting, spider bite, or some kind of infection. Basically the whole underside of my right foot is very painful to put any weight on, and I walk with a major limp now as I try to keep my balance with only the left side of my foot. It's also tough to stand still because I usually stand with my weight on one foot (weird, I know.)
Hopefully it will get better soon. It started bothering me 2 nights ago, but didn't really get too severely painful until this morning.
I can't wait to be able to play DDR. I am so close to getting an A on Under the Sky - Expert. -_-
Writer's block sucks. I was able to write up 2 chapters (about 4,000 words) in a day, but now I am not sure what to do next. I have a lot of ideas for what I want to happen later on in the timeline of the story, and I even have a good idea of how I want to end the story, but I don't want to jump ahead in time and make the story very short. I hope I can stop being so doubtful of what I write and just crank something out. I found myself writing a lot of things last night, but erasing most of them because I didn't like how they turned out as soon as I put them onto the screen.
I got randomly sick yesterday. I felt kind of achey/crappy when I woke up but didn't think much of it. A few hours later, I didn't feel like sitting up and went and fell asleep for a few hours. When I woke up I took my temperature and it was like 102, so I felt like crap the rest of the day basically. Now I'm back down to 98.5 and feeling fine, so I have no idea what caused that. Oh well, at least I'm not stuck in bed again.
Something is wrong with my foot. I got hurt somehow, and can now barely walk. I'm not exactly sure what happened to it, but my best guesses are either a bee sting, spider bite, or some kind of infection. Basically the whole underside of my right foot is very painful to put any weight on, and I walk with a major limp now as I try to keep my balance with only the left side of my foot. It's also tough to stand still because I usually stand with my weight on one foot (weird, I know.)
Hopefully it will get better soon. It started bothering me 2 nights ago, but didn't really get too severely painful until this morning.
I can't wait to be able to play DDR. I am so close to getting an A on Under the Sky - Expert. -_-
Writer's block sucks. I was able to write up 2 chapters (about 4,000 words) in a day, but now I am not sure what to do next. I have a lot of ideas for what I want to happen later on in the timeline of the story, and I even have a good idea of how I want to end the story, but I don't want to jump ahead in time and make the story very short. I hope I can stop being so doubtful of what I write and just crank something out. I found myself writing a lot of things last night, but erasing most of them because I didn't like how they turned out as soon as I put them onto the screen.
I got randomly sick yesterday. I felt kind of achey/crappy when I woke up but didn't think much of it. A few hours later, I didn't feel like sitting up and went and fell asleep for a few hours. When I woke up I took my temperature and it was like 102, so I felt like crap the rest of the day basically. Now I'm back down to 98.5 and feeling fine, so I have no idea what caused that. Oh well, at least I'm not stuck in bed again.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Nerdy
One of my favorite hobbies has been to make "signature" images for my MMO characters. It's particularly fun to do for World of Warcraft, since the art style makes for a good backdrop for some fun text styles.
I made this one last night for my Paladin.
Yes, for you WoW experts, I am using "Hammer of GG" aka Hammer of Wrath on a level 20 warlock. It's actually my friend's new character, but I had to make him a target. Because sometimes, your friends just need the Hammer of GG.
Another hobby of mine is creative writing/fanfiction. There's something appealing about taking an already established universe of characters rather then trying to conjure up everything from scratch. I guess it's kind of lazy if you think about it, but oh well.
I've written over 2,000 words for this new one already, but I found myself having a tough time trying to name and summarize the story before posting chapter 1 on FF.net. The name only took about 30 minutes to finalize, but it took several hours to try and describe my story. I guess that's the consequence of writing spontaneously, one chapter at a time, rather then having a storyline set before I'm finished
.
For several months I was a CSI Miami fanatic. Although I think Law and Order SVU is a superior show, there's something enthralling about CSI:M that kept me watching, and made me record almost every episode that aired onto my DVR machine. I think I've seen every episode now, and I don't really watch it anymore, but it's still fun to do Horatio Caine-isms with my friends.
Well I guess that's it for now. Told ya it was nerdy. ^^
I made this one last night for my Paladin.
Yes, for you WoW experts, I am using "Hammer of GG" aka Hammer of Wrath on a level 20 warlock. It's actually my friend's new character, but I had to make him a target. Because sometimes, your friends just need the Hammer of GG.
Another hobby of mine is creative writing/fanfiction. There's something appealing about taking an already established universe of characters rather then trying to conjure up everything from scratch. I guess it's kind of lazy if you think about it, but oh well.
I've written over 2,000 words for this new one already, but I found myself having a tough time trying to name and summarize the story before posting chapter 1 on FF.net. The name only took about 30 minutes to finalize, but it took several hours to try and describe my story. I guess that's the consequence of writing spontaneously, one chapter at a time, rather then having a storyline set before I'm finished
.
For several months I was a CSI Miami fanatic. Although I think Law and Order SVU is a superior show, there's something enthralling about CSI:M that kept me watching, and made me record almost every episode that aired onto my DVR machine. I think I've seen every episode now, and I don't really watch it anymore, but it's still fun to do Horatio Caine-isms with my friends.
Well I guess that's it for now. Told ya it was nerdy. ^^
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
The beast you can't escape from
Well I've been playing WoW again. Not nearly as much as I was a year ago, to be sure, but yeah, I've been playing it a few hours a week again. To my credit, I haven't let it take over my life, I am still able/willing to log out whenever need be, and I am not putting it ahead of my more important priorities.
I feel a little guilty about it, I guess, I dunno. I was really happy when I was able to quit a few months back, but as time has passed, I realized that there are not a whole lot of games that really interest me anymore. I just picked up GTA4 today, but I haven't really been sucked in yet, although it is quite entertaining.
I recently built myself a new computer, well, new in the sense that I did not own it until recently. Performance-wise, it's actually rather slow and would have a lot of trouble handling newer games at high graphics settings. But I don't regret my decision, because this is all I need at this point.
I still consider myself a fan of video games, I enjoy playing them with my friends, especially more casual, active ones like Super Smash Bros, or Meteos on the DS (which is my favorite system right now, seriously, it rules!) But new games? Giant "meh" for the most part. I have played some new-ish games, and even bought quite a few of them, but I usually only end up playing them for a very short time.
I honestly spend more time just doing various things on the computer then I do gaming anymore. Chatting with friends, watching Youtube vids, getting lost in Wikipedia, reading fanfics, browsing IMDB... the list goes on and on.
Anyway, I decided I would play again, and this is me trying to justify it for myself by saying that I only play a fraction of the time that I used to, and I'm not very serious about it either (heck, right now I'm neglecting my quests to write this... A.D.D FTW!)
I feel a little guilty about it, I guess, I dunno. I was really happy when I was able to quit a few months back, but as time has passed, I realized that there are not a whole lot of games that really interest me anymore. I just picked up GTA4 today, but I haven't really been sucked in yet, although it is quite entertaining.
I recently built myself a new computer, well, new in the sense that I did not own it until recently. Performance-wise, it's actually rather slow and would have a lot of trouble handling newer games at high graphics settings. But I don't regret my decision, because this is all I need at this point.
I still consider myself a fan of video games, I enjoy playing them with my friends, especially more casual, active ones like Super Smash Bros, or Meteos on the DS (which is my favorite system right now, seriously, it rules!) But new games? Giant "meh" for the most part. I have played some new-ish games, and even bought quite a few of them, but I usually only end up playing them for a very short time.
I honestly spend more time just doing various things on the computer then I do gaming anymore. Chatting with friends, watching Youtube vids, getting lost in Wikipedia, reading fanfics, browsing IMDB... the list goes on and on.
Anyway, I decided I would play again, and this is me trying to justify it for myself by saying that I only play a fraction of the time that I used to, and I'm not very serious about it either (heck, right now I'm neglecting my quests to write this... A.D.D FTW!)
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Future residence...
Been thinking a lot lately about where I may find myself living in the near future. I've lived in the Bay Area of CA since I was born, and it's time for a change. The older I've gotten, the more I've realized that I don't belong here. I've been looking at some of my options, but nothing is truly jumping out at me.
First there's Orlando, FL. I have 2 friends who live there, and one of them says he will be looking for a new roommate sometime in August. This would be really cool, and there's lots to do in the city I'm sure, but it gets really freakin' hot there, and I'm just not a big-city person at heart. When I was thinking of where to live, I kept picturing living out in the country. Ever since I spent a month in Georgia last year, I've come to love and appreciate living away from the city.
Which brings me to the next option, Georgia. My dad has his house out there which is super-nice, but he's looking to sell his property and leave pretty soon, so I don't know if keeping that will be an option. I don't really know if I would want to live there anyway, at least in the community where my Dad lives. It also gets really hot here.
Another place I was looking at, North Carolina. I know a few people who live there and I know I would have fun. From what my friend tells me, it sounds like exactly what I'm hoping for - away from a big city. But I'm not sure what's really out there, what kind of jobs, etc.
Of course there's always Washington, and then the not-so-far Santa Cruz area. The weather is much better with these places, but I don't really know anybody in either place.
Well I didn't really accomplish anything by writing this down, but hopefully I'll be able to come up with something near my birthday. I hope I can move out before the end of August..
First there's Orlando, FL. I have 2 friends who live there, and one of them says he will be looking for a new roommate sometime in August. This would be really cool, and there's lots to do in the city I'm sure, but it gets really freakin' hot there, and I'm just not a big-city person at heart. When I was thinking of where to live, I kept picturing living out in the country. Ever since I spent a month in Georgia last year, I've come to love and appreciate living away from the city.
Which brings me to the next option, Georgia. My dad has his house out there which is super-nice, but he's looking to sell his property and leave pretty soon, so I don't know if keeping that will be an option. I don't really know if I would want to live there anyway, at least in the community where my Dad lives. It also gets really hot here.
Another place I was looking at, North Carolina. I know a few people who live there and I know I would have fun. From what my friend tells me, it sounds like exactly what I'm hoping for - away from a big city. But I'm not sure what's really out there, what kind of jobs, etc.
Of course there's always Washington, and then the not-so-far Santa Cruz area. The weather is much better with these places, but I don't really know anybody in either place.
Well I didn't really accomplish anything by writing this down, but hopefully I'll be able to come up with something near my birthday. I hope I can move out before the end of August..
Friday, April 25, 2008
One of the better days I've had
Yesterday I decided to drive over to the beach, it was a rather spontaneous decision. I've driven over there a few times, usually just to relieve boredom. It's not exactly a financially smart idea, it takes about a quarter-tank of gas just to get there and back, and seeing as it costs upwards of $75 to fill my tank up from 1/4 to full, it isn't something I do often.
But I'm glad I decided to suck it up and head over. The traffic was surprisingly low on the way over there, and nobody was riding my tail the whole way so I didn't have to stress about the drive on the rather windy road of Highway 17. When I got there, I parked at the Boardwalk (a famous location in Santa Cruz) and walked out to the sand. I decided to jog/walk up the coast for a while, and it's such a nice change from the suburban neighborhood I usually roam.
After a few miles I headed back to where I started and decided to take a rest in the sand for a while. It's amazing how calming it was, there was no sound except for the quiet crashing of the small waves, and some children about 1/2 a mile down the beach laughing, but otherwise I was in solitude. I ended up sitting there for about 40 minutes, but it felt like 5.
I got up and walked to the now-open arcade inside the actual Boardwalk. Played some DDR and the electric drum machine thing, it's always fun getting a crowd (not to sound too shallow.. hehe). After a few rounds of DDR, my legs were thoroughly numb, and I decided it was time to rest and then head back.
Coming back to town was a little bit of a downer, but my good mood was soon restored when I got a call from my friend, and we originally planned to get some dinner, but ended up just hanging out and talking at his house for 4 hours. I came home, took a shower, and came back to see that I was able to snag a key for the new Age of Conan game. That looks pretty exciting, so it will be fun to try that out on the first of May.
All in all, it was one of the best days I've had recently, and it's apparently not as difficult as I thought to entertain myself. I can't wait to see the ocean again.
But I'm glad I decided to suck it up and head over. The traffic was surprisingly low on the way over there, and nobody was riding my tail the whole way so I didn't have to stress about the drive on the rather windy road of Highway 17. When I got there, I parked at the Boardwalk (a famous location in Santa Cruz) and walked out to the sand. I decided to jog/walk up the coast for a while, and it's such a nice change from the suburban neighborhood I usually roam.
After a few miles I headed back to where I started and decided to take a rest in the sand for a while. It's amazing how calming it was, there was no sound except for the quiet crashing of the small waves, and some children about 1/2 a mile down the beach laughing, but otherwise I was in solitude. I ended up sitting there for about 40 minutes, but it felt like 5.
I got up and walked to the now-open arcade inside the actual Boardwalk. Played some DDR and the electric drum machine thing, it's always fun getting a crowd (not to sound too shallow.. hehe). After a few rounds of DDR, my legs were thoroughly numb, and I decided it was time to rest and then head back.
Coming back to town was a little bit of a downer, but my good mood was soon restored when I got a call from my friend, and we originally planned to get some dinner, but ended up just hanging out and talking at his house for 4 hours. I came home, took a shower, and came back to see that I was able to snag a key for the new Age of Conan game. That looks pretty exciting, so it will be fun to try that out on the first of May.
All in all, it was one of the best days I've had recently, and it's apparently not as difficult as I thought to entertain myself. I can't wait to see the ocean again.
Blog intro, welcome, yadda yadda
Welcome to my blog. This is not intended to be a place for some amazing ideas or discussions to be held, but more of an outlet for my thoughts and ideas. I imagine my friends are sick of hearing about some of it, and I figure why not put it all in one place for easy access.
A little about me, I suppose - I'm 20 years old, I live in San Jose, CA but am currently looking for a new place to live. My two most "realistic" possibilities right now are in Orlando, FL or somewhere up farther on the east coast. Long story short, I hate the bay area and am ready to leave ASAP.
Well that's it, I don't want to write a life story here in the first post so I'm going to cut it off short. Snap.
A little about me, I suppose - I'm 20 years old, I live in San Jose, CA but am currently looking for a new place to live. My two most "realistic" possibilities right now are in Orlando, FL or somewhere up farther on the east coast. Long story short, I hate the bay area and am ready to leave ASAP.
Well that's it, I don't want to write a life story here in the first post so I'm going to cut it off short. Snap.
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